Showing posts from September, 2009

Shidduch resumes: additional comments from imamother

omg what is the world coming to ... and we wonder why it's so hard to make shidduchim ...
To bad that there was no option of disgusting. Anyone ever looking for a job knows that resumes can also be padded. Most of the shadchanim I know would never introduce anyone without a reasonable belief that this most definitely can work.

I never call only the listed people. I B"H have friends in a lot of communities.
Enlighten me - who receives the resume? And how is it different from jotting down the same info you are hearing in a phone conversation checking out the boy/girl?

For example, I can say, "Take down these reference numbers - this is her 12th grade teacher - 7-7-7-7-7-7-7..." or I can say, "Give me your email address or fax number and I'll send you all her references."

Responses to my shidduch resume post at imamother

Interesting range of responses that pretty much matches the poll results to be posted in the next post. Here they are quoted with any names removed or modified to remove any id from the posters on the imamother forum:

my thoughts are that there has to be more opportunities for mingling between adult men and women who are yeshivish, I dont know how it could be done appropriately, but there must be a way. paper resumes are annoying and demeaning.
That's it? Not necessarily. A shidduch resume is essentially the same thing as asking "So tell me about him, where did he go in Israel, what's he doing now, what is he looking for" - just on paper rather than over the phone. You can tell things from a shidduch resume, although obviously nowhere near everything. For example, if a guy went to a yeshivish elementary school and high school, a modern yeshiva in Israel, learned there for one year, and then came back and dormed at a college…

The original Yom Kippur dance

Article on the limits of women's professional progress

Read the full article, "How the 'Snow-Woman Effect' Slows Women's Progress" by Mary Ann Masonat
From the article:Women with children face additional problems in the workplace. They may have an especially difficult time participating in the job-related social networking that is often required to advance. In academe the socializing is not so likely to be sports talk and all-night boozing, but mothers may have to leave meetings that do not end by 5 p.m. in order to pick up children. Or they may be unable to attend job talks, receptions, or search-committee dinners because of child-care commitments.

It is usually an accumulation of small and large incidents that marginalize female administrators. I think of this as the "snow-woman effect." The layers of missed opportunities, family obligations, and small and large slights build up over the years, slowing their career progress compared with men.

What of the implications for frum wom…

What works for weddings, easy Shabbos recipes, Sukkoth inspiration and far more

is covered in the fall issue of Kallah Magazine, which you can now read online! The fall issue of Kallah Magazine, which came out before Rosh Hashana, is now posted with absolutely free access. So if you couldn't pick up a hard copy for yourself, you can read it by clicking on the link that says Fall09 right near the top of the home page at

You are cordially invited to send cash

What Do Advertisers Want?

Someone on the LinkedIn magazine group pointed to this article:
What Do Advertisers Want?
It is interesting to see the considerations., though I may have a somewhat different view on things as a publisher. But still, from speaking with advertisers, I don't think many of them have thought through all these issues. For example, on the presentation of "Product Cycle," many advertisers I have who are offering a long product cycle, like a wedding service or a mattress, expect an ad to yield the results of a short product cycle. They expect instant results from ads that do not offer promotional incentives. Realistically, though, all they can expect of a an ad that just lets people know of their existence is to get on the "'consideration list'" -- but not to make them call in reference to ad right away. As the writer explains: Product Cycle: Some products are bought every day; some have years of lag between purchases. There is probably no determinant of st…

Shidduch qualities list

I recall my grandmother (considered a beautiful woman BTW) A"H telling me that she wanted to marry an ugly man. I said, "But you didn't!" She admitted that her husband had been a handsome man, but he, nevertheless, had the qualities she wanted (which, I am certain, included intelligence) without the negatives sometimes to be found in people conscious of good looks.

I brought this up in my comment to Mother in Israel's post with regard to Bad4Shidduchim, which you can see here.
She shidduch requirements read as follows:
Facial StructureBody BuildPolitenessSocial GraceCleanlinessKindnessAttitudeIntelligenceAffluenceWorldlinessBravadoHeight
If you pay attention to that list, you would notice that no less than 3 are devoted to superficial physical characteristics. 2 are highly questionable: Is it really good for a Ben Torah to consider himself worldly or to carry himself with bravado? I don’t know what is meant by attitude in this context. Politeness, I would conside…

Rosh Hashana Wishes

What they didn't teach you in school: Jewish intimacy and pre-wed classes (part 5)

Get it while you can!

The fall issue of Kallah Magazine was distributed in the 5 Towns, Queens, and Brooklyn where they are snatched up up pretty rapidly. In fact, when one propietor claimed he didn't want me to put the magazines there because they are just left, I pointed out that all the ones I put out there last week were gone. In fact, in many stores, I saw that the piles of the newsprint publications remain high, while the Kallah Magazine piles are down to one. So be sure to pick up your copy while you can. Otherwise, you can watch for the PDF of the issue that will likely be put online at in a week or two.

One person's solutions to a person who refused to pay

I was in Queens today where I and ran into someone who recognized me as Kallah Magazine. In the course of the conversation, his table companion offered what he did when someone refused to pay him. He told a couple of guys he would pay them $1000 to make sure the man who stiffed him would limp. The next time he saw him, the man walked with a cane, and he felt very satisifed. Much as I may think some of the people I have had difficulties with may deserve such treatment, it is not something I would actually do. Justice will simply have to be served by the Almighty.

On Jews and Money

Truth, Lies, and Shidduch Dating

Wolfish Musings: Is Lying About One's Age Grounds For Breaking A Shidduch?
I agree with Wolf's view. The fact that the person cannot be trust to be truthful is more of an issue than the age itself. I find a parallel to this in people who conceal health conditions so as not to damage their shidduch prospects. See the comment at

just wondering

When you hear something described as "high end," does that make it sound more or less appealing to you?

The fall issue of Kallah Magazine is now out!

Distribu tion began today in the 5 Towns. You should able tno pick it up in Queens, Flatbush, and Borough Park next week. This issue is also going to Baltimore.

The Rules for Shidduch Dating

Just call him Deep Throat, see

Web update: Wedding Tips now Indexed

Is this a conspiracy to put makeup artists out of business?

See Orthonomics
on the latest idea for using tzedaka funds to prevent brides from wearing makeup to their weddings.

The Jewish secrets to developing a growing, nurturing and lasting relationship!

I think they would draw more people if it were for women. And, of course, there are those who would say that opening it up to both men and women can help solve the problem. The following appeared in an online email list:
*SHIDDUCH COACHES* *Presents**Is Dating Stressful for you???*

The Jewish secrets to developing a growing, nurturing and lasting
*We will discuss skills and techniques for building confidence to find your
Bashert.** *Wednesday night,**September 2, 2009 7pm*

*Located in **Passaic, NJ*

**(Easy access to public transportation: i.e. Bus #190 & NJ Transit)
*Dinner Night with the following speakers:*
*Rabbi Aron & Yehudis Rosenbaum*
*Naftali & Chana Schwartz*

*Come enjoy a hot meal and discover Jewish values as well as dating skills
for attracting your life partner. Experience a positive difference! We are
having Coaching workshops and Classes!*

*The Menagerie – Englewood, NJ Kashrus RCB…