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Showing posts from May, 2014

The ideal age for marriage

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Sweeping generalizations are served up by Guy Kawasaki in "If I Were 22: Don't Get Married Too Soon (And Always Make Your Boss Look Good)" Let's just deal with the marriage part. Here's what it says:
Don't get married too soon. I got married when I was thirty-two. That's about the right age. Until you're about that age, you may not know who you are. You also may not know who you're marrying. I don't know anyone who got married too late. I know many people who got married too young. There really is not a one-age-fits-all for marriage, and as his justification for the age is knowing who you are, well, some of us reach that at 19, while others may not do do even at 35. It all depends on the individual.   So settling on a magic number for marriage is absurd, and it as absurd to make it 32 as it is to make it 20. If you click over to the article, you'll find that quite a number of the comments make a similar point, and many report having marrie…

Counting by 12s and Lag B'Omer

I'm sure there are many wedding set for this Sunday, as it is Lag B'Omer For a deeper look at this holiday, see this essay that Rabbi Brown wrote. It's Among the divrei Torah archived at http://kallahmagazine.weebly.com/divrei-torah.html Sefira, the number 12, and Lag BaOmer by Rabbi Chaim Brown 12,000 pairs of students die during a brief two month period, students of the greatest sage of Torah who studied for two pairs of 12 years, and all that is left is a single great scholar who paired with his son hides in a cave for 12 years. We all recognize the story of Rabbi Akiva and the loss of his students which we mark during the Omer period, the story of his greatest student, R’ Shimon bar Yochai, who was forced to flee Roman persecution and hide in a case for twelve years and whose death we mark on Lag B’Omer, but what of the number twelve? Why is this such a central focus of the events of this period? The Bnei Yisaschar (Chodesh Tishrei Ma’amar #7 as well as other places) e…

Unmentionables

Someone recently brought up the issue of kallah classes because of an article that related a very bad experience one bride had. I'm sure there are excellent kallah teachers out there, but there are also some who do the kallahs a disservice --- even if they mean well.

I found a most eloquent description of the problem in the the comment left by "Mom" on March 30, 2014 puts things in perspective. I can't top her words.http://jewishmom.com/2011/06/29/the-wedding-night-nightmare-by-anonymous/ (the article focused on a real physical condiiton that was not diagnosed correctly for a long time, a common occurence). I'll just quote the last part of the key comment here:
I had always been proud of my daughter for being a “good girl” who didn’t talk to boys and was careful with tsnius. Of course I’m still all for that, but we also have to find a way to send a more calibrated message to our daughters. I think too many of them suppress their natural desires because it feels “b…