Thought experiment for shidduchim

Source: https://cdn12.picryl.com/photo/2016/12/31/door-open-doorway-f4902f-1024.jpg

I just finished reading Tom Vanderbilt's  book You May Also Like: Taste in an Age of Endless Choice.
On pp. 192-193 he describes"the 11th Person Game" devised by the interaction designer Chris Noessel.  It's pretty simple: you point to a doorway and tell the participant that one of the next 11 people entering it have to be selected as " a potential romantic partner." There are only two rules:
1. Once a person is passed over, they are forever out of the running.
2.If no one is selected,t he 11th is automatically selected for you.

Nossel told Vanderbilt that earlier on in the game, people are quicker to reject people, but as hey get closer to eleventh mark, "players top looking for flaws in each new person and start looking for 'what's right about a given person.'" Realizing they are going to soon be out of options makes them adjust their standards of judging.

This is a useful exercise for job interviews as well, given the propensity some have to always filter out, but we do tend to do the same thing when it comes to shidduch research. I've often observed that if you dig enough, you can always find something on which to pin a no. But what you should be doing is also looking at the possibilities to open the way to a yes.

The difference in real life is that you will not automatically be matched with the eleventh. What may be worse is that you will pass up on the right one and end up with no one.

Related posts:
http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2019/07/dating-data-and-jane-austen.html

http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2008/09/power-of-single-word-could-sway.html

http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2010/06/shidduch-lists.html

http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2019/05/make-your-own-segula-for-shidduchim.html


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