shidduch lists

There are 2 types of shidduch lists (my husband should love the Brisker style opening here): One is a list of names of prospective shidduchim that singles -- or their parents -- have. The other is a wish list of attributes one puts down for his/her ideal shidduch. This is often included in one's shidduch resume or shidduch profile.
Note on the first type of list: it is usually used as for those who don't want to say outright no to a name but to indicate they are very much in demand and have to wait list the suggestion, going in turn. In truth, if someone sounded really outstanding, s/he would jump right to the head of the line.

Note on the second type of list: it often has little to do with reality and much to do with what one feels is expected.  So just about any girl fresh out of a RW seminary will put down that she wants a "learning boy." She may also stipulate that the boy is to plan to stay in a kollel, chinuch, or take on a rabbinical position rather than working as a ba'al habas.  Those who are not quite as starry-eyed may state their preference for someone who has a "means of parnassah," which usually signifies a career that is more lucrative than kley kodesh options.   But people do sometimes end up marrying the type that they declared off their list, that is, if they are willing to consider going out with someone who does not match their paper wish list.

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