Susan Cain's grandfather

What I saw on Quora today reminds me of the guideline given for conversation starters on dates as three Fs: food, family, and philosophy (with phonetic spelling, I suppose).

The story goes that a young man given that advice started by asking the young woman if she likes spaghetti. She did not. That was the of the food discussion. Next up was family, so he asked if she had a brother. She answered in the negative. Two down, one to go. His foray into philosophy was "If you did have a brother, would he have like spaghetti?" We don't know what she answered.

The Quora advice includes an F but also some other letters:

How should I talk to people when I have nothing to say?

Melissa Jeswald, studied at Montserrat College of Art

Answered Jun 11 · Upvoted by Michael E. Silverman, Dual Trained Cognitive and Behavioral Psychologist in NYC.

Here’s a simple formula you can memorize:
FORD.
It’s an acronym for:

1. Family

1. Occupation

1. Recreation

1. Dreams

When you meet someone for the first time, ask about their family; people love to talk about that. If you come to a dead end with regard to family, ask what they do for work or school. Then, ask what their favorite pastime is. If you get through this, always ask about the future, and what they hope to do with their lives.
It’s a simple formula that keeps the conversation about the other person. Showing an interest (and I hope it’s a genuine interest) in the other person’s life will make you likeable.

I think all that is find, but I do take issue with one final point she makes: "

Bottom line: show an interest in other people. This is perfect for introverts, as we are usually insecure about talking about our own lives."

No, introverts are not insecure about talking about our own lives. We are just not so egotistical as to assume everyone is just dying to hear about us unless the express real interest in what we do. In fact, one of the reasons why many introverts are generally regarded as easy to talk to is because we are willing listeners.

See http://uncommoncontent.blogspot.com/2012/05/perspectives-on-introversion-this-is.html

related: http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2012/08/shidduch-dating-tips.html

Like and follow on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/KallahMagazine/