Shidduch dating tips
If I were giving the advice, I''d keep it much simpler: Be a mensch. As Hillel told the prospective convert who wanted to know all of Torah on one foot -- what is hateful to you, don't do to another.(see http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2012/02/all-you-need-is.html) The rest is all commentary. The same holds true in this case. For example, isn't it obvious, if a guy gives you options, that he wants you to respond with what you would prefer?
Anyway here's the list of tips.
Preparing for the Date:
- If the male has called twice with no response and left a voicemail, then at that point the female should be courteous, and either return the call, or text the male to let them know when they will be available to speak.
During the Dating:
- If the male suggests a few options of where to go or what to do on the date, then it would be appreciated if the female gives her preference. This will lead to a more relaxed and enjoyable date. If there is an activity, or a type of food/restaurant that the female does not like, that could also be mentioned.
- When out on the date, make sure to say thank you. Whether the male held open the door, dropped you off at home after the date, paid for the date etc, men really notice when someone shows appreciation and it makes a huge impact. This simple courtesy speaks volumes about a person’s character.
- Offering to pay for part of the date, even if the man has no intention of letting the woman pay, is still acknowledged and appreciated nonetheless.
- If you are quiet/shy, it is important to make a concerted effort to participate in the conversation, so that it is not awkward on the male, and pressure for them to continue speaking throughout.
- Feedback has shown that women who tell their date that they are last of their friends to get married is a big turn off. The man can interpret this as the meaning that the woman is desperate.
- For either party to discuss any former relationships/dates early on in the relationship is very off putting to the other person.
After The Date:
- If you know you are going to close the match, do not state that you’ve had such a wonderful time and would like to see the match again. This is misleading and gives the other person a false hope. This is a mistake that has been done by both males and females. Rather express thanks for the person’s time or say you would like to think about it, so you come across appreciative but still genuine.
- Please be in touch with the matchmaker (or match directly) within 1-2 days to let them know if you wish to continue dating that person or not. It is unfair to leave the person waiting.
These tips have been helping members to make the dating experience a positive and effective one.
- Even if you realize that the person is not for you, please think about whether they would be good for a friend of yours. This is a fantastic attitude for everyone to have.
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