In its time

Parshas Bereishis ends on a note of despondency. Hashem, so to speak, come to feel regret for having made man (Bereishis 6:6). You can almost imagine the angels who had warned Him not to do so saying "Told you so."  The words used in that verse are וַיִּנָּ֣חֶם and יִּתְעַצֵּ֖ב אֶל־לִבּֽוֹ. But Rashi's comment here dig beneath the surface that appears. First he looks at the word vayinachem, which usually refers to taking comfort:

And the Lord regretted that He had made: Heb. וַיִנָּחֶם. It was a consolation to Him that He had created him [man] of the earthly beings, for had he been one of the heavenly beings, he would have caused them to rebel. [This appears in Genesis Rabbah (27:40). וינחם ה' כי עשה: נחמה היתה לפניו שבראו בתחתונים, שאלו היה מן העליונים היה ממרידן:

So the silver lining to this was that man didn't have the capability to wreck everything and carry on the plot depicted by John Milton.

However, Rashi still acknowledges that this reads like Hashem regretted what he did, which raises the question: why would someone who knows how this will turn out go ahead and create what he will come to regret?  This is the question that is addressed in Bereishis Rabbah, the source Rashi quotes:

and He became grieved: Heb. וַיִּתְעַצֵּב, He mourned over the destruction of His handiwork [i.e., according to this second view, וַיִּתְעַצֵּב refers to God], like (II Sam. 19:3): “The king is saddened (נֶעֱצַב) over his son.” This I wrote to refute the heretics: A gentile asked Rabbi Joshua ben Korchah, “Do you not admit that the Holy One, blessed be He, foresees the future?” He [Rabbi Joshua] replied to him, “Yes.” He retorted, “But it is written: and He became grieved in His heart!” He [Rabbi Joshua] replied, “Was a son ever born to you?” “Yes,” he [the gentile] replied. “And what did you do?” he [Rabbi Joshua] asked. He replied, “I rejoiced and made everyone rejoice.” “But did you not know that he was destined to die?” he asked. He [the gentile] replied, “At the time of joy, joy; at the time of mourning, mourning.” He [Rabbi Joshua] said to him, “So is it with the work of the Holy One, blessed be He; even though it was revealed before Him that they would ultimately sin, and He would destroy them, He did not refrain from creating them, for the sake of the righteous men who were destined to arise from them.” - [from Gen. Rabbah 27:4]

As Koheles tells us in Chapter 3, there is a time to mourn and a time to dance, and one need not refrain from the dance because one is aware that a time of mourning will follow at some point. While we all know this fact, we often fail to really apply it. We don't fully enjoy the celebrations of life because we also think about our life losses that we've already experienced or that we will experience. However, just as we are supposed to emulate Hashem in doing chesed, I believe we should emulate Him in this. If even He who knows how people would seriously mess up still was able to at the time of creation declare everything to be "very good," we, too should be able to see the good at its time, appreciate the flowers of spring and summer even though we know they will wither in the fall.

To take the mashal offered further, I would look at the fact that a parent who is happy when his child is born doesn't necessarily anticipate experiencing his child's death. In the normal course of events, the parent should outlive the child, and there is little that can devastate a person more than seeing one's own child die. But what does happen in the normal course of events is that the child will disappoint the parent in some way. That adorable baby will grow into a toddler and throw the terrible twos at you that will then be eclipsed by the teen years that seem to never end. Even when the child is fully grown and married, there is bound to be some difference in outlook in how the household should be run or how a child should be raised. This are all things that can make a parent feel some pangs of regret or sadness. But one should not let that impinge on the unmitigated joy one can experience throughout the other life stages, from applauding the baby's first step and first word to the dance at the wedding. All of those stages should be fully celebrated on their own terms, and the times of darkness -- including the inevitable conflicts and clashes that occur in long-term relationships -- should not be allowed to overshadow them. 

  


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