I am going to have to put up some more posts on dating
Instant connections and gradual ones
For now, I will briefly address the misunderstanding the concept of bashert. Some declare that doesn't exist. But as I B"Y accepted the oral tradition alone with the written Torah (something we ratified on Purim -kiyemu vekiblu) we have to say that if Chazal say it exists, then it does. Instead of questioning the veracity of Chazal, people should question their own misinterpretations. It is the conflation of the idea of Bashert with the secular notion of "The One" that is immediately recognizable. See the first piece at http://kallahmagazine.com/DivreiTorah1.htm for an explanation of Bashert in Torah, which is very distinct from the starry-eyed view of modern day romance.
The Maharal has an interesting take on the difference between the 40 days kodem yetziras havlad and the notion that zivugim are harder than kriyas yam suf. Why invoke an image of separation for a shidduch? That is because that refers tot he zivug sheini. As there is a concept of zivug rishon and zivug sheini, one is not guaranteed to marry and stay married to one's bashert.
I also have to stop reading blogs in which singles offer their wisdom on life. It is too depressing to contemplate what the world has come to when people understand so little. Is this due to a failure of the Jewish educational system? Or should it blamed on too much immersion in a culture with values that are diametrically opposed to Torah? I don't know, but it is scary, especially because I have children.
Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner