Tall, dark, and frugal

Does frugality count as one of a person's attractions?According to the New York Times article, "How to Be Frugal and Still Be Asked on Dates" it is not generally considered so.  That finding is based on the Ing survey it quotes at the beginning:
 In June, the company asked 1,000 people which words would come to mind if someone was fixing them up on a blind date with someone described as frugal.
Just 3.7 percent answered “sexy,” while 15 percent picked “boring” and 27 percent chose “stingy.”
Just 3.7% considered frugality as a quality to be desired in a prospective mate.  But far more found it uninteresting, and even more considered it the antithesis of the virtue of generosity.

“Frugality may or may not have anything to do with how much he loves you,” said BJ Gallagher, 61, an experienced online dater and author of several self-help books for women. “'But for a lot of women, love looks like ‘"Take care of me and give me things.’ ”

Interesting to contrast this with the expectation in the right wing world of shidduchim where a  man is still expected to foot the bill, though, in this case, the man is the bride's father. The single man's worth is often tied to a real dollar amount.  A top notch boy would draw 6 figures, which may be paid out over a number of  years of support. In such situations, the bride's father would have to practice some frugality for his own household in order to be able to support another one, and sometimes a few more, depending on how many daughters he has.  The young man, though, is not expected to practice frugality, as he is to spend his parents' money on dates that include dinners and other expenses so that he doesn't look cheap.  At the engagement, he would drop another couple of hundred on an an impressive floral arrangement and a diamond and gold braceletThat is to swiftly be followed by an engagement ringthat can be flaunted by his bride-to-be, and so on and so forth.


Orthonomics said…
It is always easier to spend someone else's money. In the book Millionaire Next Door, the authors show that those who co-mingle their own resources with their parents resources do worse financially. When young men are allowed to court on their father's dime, it is no wonder that they fail to spend according to their budget.
Rivki said…
I have a dream that when my children get married, the ridiculous gift-giving will be over, and frugality will be en vogue.
Ariella said…
Rivki, you made me think of someone giving a MLK "I have a dream" speech to bring sanity to the whole system.

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