Do smart women make better wives?

Of course, I have my own take on the answer, but we'll get to it later. In general, intelligent women seek out intelligent men as husbands. However, not all intelligent men seek the same quality in a wife. An example of the latter is Einstein who divorced his first wife, a student of physics, to marry a housewife type. And most people know some men considered brilliant in some way whose wives are not likewise distinguished.

But women generally do not marry down on the intelligence scale. The social convention is for women to be in a position in which they can look up to their husbands. Many apply that in a literal fashion and seek a taller husband, but they also seek someone who has other qualities that allow them to look up to them. Hence the social convention of older husbands and younger wives that many are now seeking to try to break as a solution to the shidduch crisis. (Interestingly, though, in the past the difference in age could be far greater. For example, my maternal grandfather was 10 years older than my grandmother; she was only 18 when she married. And on a recent visit to the art museum, the tour guide pointed out couples with 13 years and even 30 years between them -- the latter was a second marriage for the painter Rubens.)

A blogger brought up his own predilection for intelligence in a woman at http://walkingthegreyline.blogspot.com/2010/01/intelligence-in-shidduch-prospect.html.
It sounds like such is considered an unusual request. I know of all the misogynistic anecdotes about wives making cake rather than getting involved in Torah. But you know, this is one case where you can have the Torah and eat homemade cake, too.

Comments

Shades of Grey said…
Interesting post and thanks for the link. However, do you mean "unusual" instead of "usual?"
Ariella said…
You are correct. Thanks for pointing it out. I filled in the un. Ah, if only spell check could read our minds and point out what we meant to type even if we had not misspelled the word.
Chaim B. said…
>>>Do smart womem make better wives?

My unbiased answer is Yes.

(There was actually a study that was making the rounds in the news a few months ago which concluded that better educated wives who were younger than their husbands are the best choice.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/6434315/Men-should-marry-young-smart-women-say-scientists.html)
Zadok said…
However, not all intelligent men seek the same quality in a wife. An example of the latter is Einstein who divorced his first wife, a student of physics, to marry a housewife type

I think two issues are being mixed here. I don't know anyone who would want to marry someone stupid but I do know many people who would prefer being married to the 'Ashes Chayil' type over the 'career women' type even though they themselves are very into their careers.

Popular Posts