Hilchos Chanukah and Shalom Bayis
This year, Chanukah begins on a Shabbos night. Should someone not have enough money to purchase candles for both the menorah and the Shabbos lights, what should s/he do? Get a friend to post a request for donations on the the neighborhood shuls list for the $25 EZ lights set plus the special Shabbos glove lights plus a matching setf silver candlesticks and menorah. I'm KIDDING. No, that is NOT the halacha. One does not collect money. If one has only enough for one set of lights, one must opt for the Shabbos lights rather than the Chanukah ones. While one may ascribe this to the principle of tadir ve'eyno tadir, tadir kodem, that rule, I believe, is only applicable for order in time. Thus we make havdala before lighting the Chanukah lights motzei Shabbos. The reason for privlieging the Shabbos lights over the Chanukah ones is that they are associated with shalom bayis, and shalom bayis trumps pirsumei nisa.
As for the other aspect of shalom bayis to be learned from hilchos Chanukah, see
(I do hate to repeat myself.)
Wishing everyone a freilachen and lichtige Chanukah and lots of gimmels! I would settle for a hey myself.;-)