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Anyone know the history?

I do not recall ever hearing the term "shidduch resume" back when I and my peers were "in the parsha." So I would think that the phenomenon has to be less than 15 years old. I would hazard a guess that the shidduch resume came about close to10 years ago. But I don't know that for certain. I'm wondering if there is someone out there with a string of children whose ages would have spanned the before and after shidduch resume entrance into the system who would have noted the sea change. Your input would be helpful.
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Orthonomics said…
I don't think the resume goes back as far as 10 years. Perhaps it is because I'm not a NY'er, but it seems to be something in the past three or so. Perhaps the push for shidduch clubs was the dawn of the resume.
October 12, 2009 at 7:26:00 PM EDT
Zehava said…
Just got off the market! Was dating for about ten years. Want to say somewhere around 2005.
October 13, 2009 at 11:47:00 AM EDT
Ariella's blog said…
Thanks, Zehava, and mazel tov. So that would make them only 4 years old, hardly a long-established convention. BTW were you in NY or outside, as SL's suggests there may be a difference for in and out-of-town?
October 13, 2009 at 11:54:00 AM EDT
Anonymous said…
My sister got married about 7 years ago, there were no shidduch resumes then. At that time, you just gave the shadchan your references over the phone - email was not very common either, which has definitely increased the use of resumes. In all fairness, a resume can just be a list of references, nothing more, to be emailed to the various shadchanim involved.
October 13, 2009 at 8:02:00 PM EDT
Ariella's blog said…
Sounds right, as no one who responded here or via email dates it earlier than 2005. As to your point, the only ones who see any redeeming value in shidduch resumes, just see it as saving people the trouble of jotting down these factors. So it is helpful in cutting down on the labor involved in writing. But that reinforces the point that the shidduch resume is nothing more than the vital statistics, which, I believe, are more helpful for screening people out than for promoting the shidduch.

My husband overheard someone complaining that the girl's shidduch resume that came in for his son did not mention that she was 50 lbs overweight, and her picture also hid that fact. So the screening out he was hoping for did not even function in that case.
October 13, 2009 at 8:19:00 PM EDT
Ariella's blog said…
A response that came in from a mother through the 5 Towns Shuls list: ""I think they have been in use for about 4 years or so. I was horrified when I first heard about it, but now I see it as a time saving device. Just get someone's resume and you don't have to stay on the phone scribbling info down on a scrap of paper. I have never received a photo of a boy, but am often asked for a photo of my daughter. I don't approve of the guy himself asking for a picture of the girl, but don't mind showing a shadchan a picture. Some shadchanim request a picture just to remember who the name is, since they meet so many people."
October 13, 2009 at 9:54:00 PM EDT
Ariella's blog said…
from a man responding to my query on the 5 Towns shul list: "I think that is part of the reason for the shidduch crises. People make judgements based on resumes. You are not applying for a job, you are looking for a spouce. To do that you need to meet an dinteract with th eperson and not just go by whats on a resume."
October 13, 2009 at 9:56:00 PM EDT
Ariella's blog said…
Another woman replying to the 5 Towns posting guessed the start to be early 2006. She also said: The advent of resumes apparently coincided with the proliferation of Email and FAX machines. I redd Shidduchim all the time and I find them to be very useful. They save at least 30 minutes on the phone and you don’t have issues with people writing down numbers and not being able to read them afterwards. However, it is never enough just to send a resume. When you redd a Shidduch, you first talk about the person, what s/he is looking for, etc. If there is interest, you offer to send the resume, stressing that it is the most efficient way of transmitting – and storing – pertinent facts and figures. (Also, to make it less demeaning, some people call it a “profile” or “fact sheet”.)
October 14, 2009 at 2:42:00 PM EDT
Orthonomics said…
My husband overheard someone complaining that the girl's shidduch resume that came in for his son did not mention that she was 50 lbs overweight, and her picture also hid that fact. So the screening out he was hoping for did not even function in that case.

Uh, 'they'are asking for resumes. I have written, rewritten, and updated my own (professional) resume numerous times and never once have I mentioned my weaknesses. Of course, if this subject comes up in an interview, I'm more than happy to talk about which areas I might need some review in, etc.

One other note: weight and shape can be two different entities. I was one of those smaller dress size people with a weight that would have indicated a far larger size.
October 19, 2009 at 6:35:00 PM EDT
Ariella's blog said…
I asked someone to send me their daughter's shidduch resume just as point of reference for me. They actually sent me 2 versions (because someone advised them to deviate slightly from the usual formula for a second version). In one she was described physically in more general terms. The other one gave a measurement for height and called her "very slim" and "very pretty." My husband didn't think she should be called "very slim"-- not because she is fat but because in his mind that is not synonymous with "attractive" as it is thought of by many but with a build approaching the skeletal. Does this particular girl quality as "very pretty?" That's another subjective descriptions.
October 21, 2009 at 9:19:00 AM EDT
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