Would you like to be the last to know?
Yesterday my children were told by someone in the neighborhood that her sister was getting engaged that day. Take note of the tense there. She told them this in the morning because, apparently, the young man her sister was seeing announced that he was going to pop the question that day. Perhaps this was in order to give them time to plan an apparently impromptu party. They seem to do this in this particular social circle. A couple of years ago, the same neighborhood person told us of a friend whose young man also told everyone of their acquaintance in advance to gather for an engagement party. Now, if I were in the kallah's shoes, my reaction to this would be very negative. I would not like for my mother, my sister, and all their friends and neighbors to know that I was becoming engaged before I did. I would want to be the first to know -- not the last. Happily, that event took place for me quite a number of years ago. I am now closer to the stage of warning my own children off such plans than to worrying about this for myself -B'H.
Comments
Personally, I'm really not into these engagement parties. I think it is a lot of show, often before the "real fun" starts.
my understanding is that in these circumstances, the engagement has already been discussed between the boy and girl. she knows he will propose, but it's just a matter of when and how. (often even the when is not a surprise either.)
But then, I think engagement parties are mostly silly.
"on something this important"
or rather on something that expensive
anyway, i proposed with a kotel ring (she had lost her teenage kotel ring) and later went shopping together for the "real" ring.