The 15th of Av take 3, Allegory & Significance
I wasn't really planning a 3 part series, but I wouldn't wish to disappoint SL.
The premise behind the work of Shir HaShirim is that the relationship of Hashem with us can be likened to the closeness achieved by husband and wife. In that vein, it makes sense that the Mishna that I quoted in the first post on this topic quoted from the verses of Shir HaShirim to connect the concept of matches and marriages with the occasion of Mattan Torah & Binyan Bais Hamikdash. So it was fitting to parallel the closeness of Hashem to His people that is manifest on Yom Kippur and by the positive things that happened on Tu B'Av with actual men and women getting matched up.
Do note, BTW, that there are no shadchanim involved in these matches. I have come across some people who rely on secondary sources for their accounts of what happened in the vineyards who claim it is a day for matchmakers. But that is not what the original texts say. It is a day when matches are made directly by the matchees -- that is the men go out in search of a wife, and the women spoke for themselves. (I could just see this as being made into a plug for EndtheMadness's founder's constant argument.) But the lack of go-between is also a point for the parallel of the relationship between Hashem and Israel. While the other nations have a representative, we deal directly with Him. In addition, the familiar way the women address the men with no coyness or hesitancy reflects a confidence about the establishment of their relationship.
The 3 types of girls described in the previous post made me think of the different types of people like the ones identified with the 4 minim used on Sukkoth. They range from the beautiful ethrog to the arava that really has no particular virtue to recommend it. So I would say that the girls able to boast of their beauty could parallel those who have attained their own beauty in terms of Torah, avodah, etc. The ones who refer to family have not manifested their own greatness but know they have the potential for greatness because they stem from great stock that they are certain will carry on to their children. But then there are the ones who can boast neither beauty nor family. Yet they do not give up on their own right to connection with Hashem. Like the heroine in Shir HaShirim, they know that their surfaces are unattractive but their beauty can come through when they are placed in a proper setting. In a way, their connection is deeper because there is nothing overt that can be identified as the source of the attraction between them and the suitor. There is nothing one can answer to "What does he see in her?" it is not a love that is tluya badavar. As there is no particular thing that the love depends on, it can never be lost. This may be why the lowly arava gets special distinction on Hoshana Rabba.
But I do not want this to be taken to mean that all of this is symbolic and didn't really happen. I do not believe the Talmud would go through such pains to detail what happened and even who borrowed white dresses from whom if it didn't occur historically. What is nice about the approach then is that the women cooperated by sharing their clothes. They did not spend more than they could afford on their outfits for dating. Think about what young women today spend on clothes in order to draw confidence from the knowledge that being expensively dressed means being well-dressed and creating the right impression.
Related post: http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2009/08/thoughts-on-tu-bav.html
The premise behind the work of Shir HaShirim is that the relationship of Hashem with us can be likened to the closeness achieved by husband and wife. In that vein, it makes sense that the Mishna that I quoted in the first post on this topic quoted from the verses of Shir HaShirim to connect the concept of matches and marriages with the occasion of Mattan Torah & Binyan Bais Hamikdash. So it was fitting to parallel the closeness of Hashem to His people that is manifest on Yom Kippur and by the positive things that happened on Tu B'Av with actual men and women getting matched up.
Do note, BTW, that there are no shadchanim involved in these matches. I have come across some people who rely on secondary sources for their accounts of what happened in the vineyards who claim it is a day for matchmakers. But that is not what the original texts say. It is a day when matches are made directly by the matchees -- that is the men go out in search of a wife, and the women spoke for themselves. (I could just see this as being made into a plug for EndtheMadness's founder's constant argument.) But the lack of go-between is also a point for the parallel of the relationship between Hashem and Israel. While the other nations have a representative, we deal directly with Him. In addition, the familiar way the women address the men with no coyness or hesitancy reflects a confidence about the establishment of their relationship.
The 3 types of girls described in the previous post made me think of the different types of people like the ones identified with the 4 minim used on Sukkoth. They range from the beautiful ethrog to the arava that really has no particular virtue to recommend it. So I would say that the girls able to boast of their beauty could parallel those who have attained their own beauty in terms of Torah, avodah, etc. The ones who refer to family have not manifested their own greatness but know they have the potential for greatness because they stem from great stock that they are certain will carry on to their children. But then there are the ones who can boast neither beauty nor family. Yet they do not give up on their own right to connection with Hashem. Like the heroine in Shir HaShirim, they know that their surfaces are unattractive but their beauty can come through when they are placed in a proper setting. In a way, their connection is deeper because there is nothing overt that can be identified as the source of the attraction between them and the suitor. There is nothing one can answer to "What does he see in her?" it is not a love that is tluya badavar. As there is no particular thing that the love depends on, it can never be lost. This may be why the lowly arava gets special distinction on Hoshana Rabba.
But I do not want this to be taken to mean that all of this is symbolic and didn't really happen. I do not believe the Talmud would go through such pains to detail what happened and even who borrowed white dresses from whom if it didn't occur historically. What is nice about the approach then is that the women cooperated by sharing their clothes. They did not spend more than they could afford on their outfits for dating. Think about what young women today spend on clothes in order to draw confidence from the knowledge that being expensively dressed means being well-dressed and creating the right impression.
Related post: http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2009/08/thoughts-on-tu-bav.html
Comments