Don't mind the budget gap
You've heard of people with champagne taste and beer budgets? For some people there is a definite gap between what they could afford and what they want. In the past, wisdom dictated that such people get grounded in reality and learn to like the beer they could afford and give up on hankering for what was beyond their financial grasp. But that is not the attitude I see today. Instead, those who can only afford beer insist, not only on champagne but on the finest imported French bottles and only from the very best years of vintage, metaphorically speaking, of course. So if the drinkers of champagne cannot afford to pay for it, who is to foot the bill? Other people, of course.
On the neighborhood email list, I am constantly seeing requests for money or other types of handouts from people who are not destitute but who just don't want to do without. And those who are getting married seem to have the greatest sense of entitlement. For example, a few weeks ago a prospective groom who is getting married in one of the higher priced venues in the area (by his own account in his post) wanted someone to pay for his brother's plane ticket so that he could fly in for the wedding. Today I saw one announcing he is getting married July 6th and can't afford a wedding hall. Well, what of the food? And it simply amazes me that he has set the date without ascertaining availability of venue. Also the date is a Sunday -- a champagne day-- one that caterers, florists, photographers, etc. are not nearly as negotiable on price for as they are for a weeknight.
Another prospective groom who is finishing his degree at YU now and marrying in early summer says he and his kallah need a lot to furnish their new home. He had a follow-up email that indicated he was not interested in suggestion so much as actual tangible contributions. In other words, he did not want directions to the pub that serves cheap beer, but a gift of a case of champagne. I don't know why he anticipates no wedding gifts that could help cover their household needs and demands that this community furnish him in advance. In contrast, when we got married, all my husband and I bought were 2 beds with dressers, tables, and chairs contributed from what was in our parents' homes. We used our gifts of china (not an expensive type), silverware, etc., and what we couldn't use we exchanged (if possible) for what we could. And, yes, we lived with no living or dining room set for quite a long time until inheriting the former and only buying the latter some time after buying our first house. I don't really think I would enjoy the taste of champagne, knowing it was given as charity when I could make do on my own.
On the neighborhood email list, I am constantly seeing requests for money or other types of handouts from people who are not destitute but who just don't want to do without. And those who are getting married seem to have the greatest sense of entitlement. For example, a few weeks ago a prospective groom who is getting married in one of the higher priced venues in the area (by his own account in his post) wanted someone to pay for his brother's plane ticket so that he could fly in for the wedding. Today I saw one announcing he is getting married July 6th and can't afford a wedding hall. Well, what of the food? And it simply amazes me that he has set the date without ascertaining availability of venue. Also the date is a Sunday -- a champagne day-- one that caterers, florists, photographers, etc. are not nearly as negotiable on price for as they are for a weeknight.
Another prospective groom who is finishing his degree at YU now and marrying in early summer says he and his kallah need a lot to furnish their new home. He had a follow-up email that indicated he was not interested in suggestion so much as actual tangible contributions. In other words, he did not want directions to the pub that serves cheap beer, but a gift of a case of champagne. I don't know why he anticipates no wedding gifts that could help cover their household needs and demands that this community furnish him in advance. In contrast, when we got married, all my husband and I bought were 2 beds with dressers, tables, and chairs contributed from what was in our parents' homes. We used our gifts of china (not an expensive type), silverware, etc., and what we couldn't use we exchanged (if possible) for what we could. And, yes, we lived with no living or dining room set for quite a long time until inheriting the former and only buying the latter some time after buying our first house. I don't really think I would enjoy the taste of champagne, knowing it was given as charity when I could make do on my own.
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