The Shidduch Crisis -- a matter of perspective

I don't presume to offer the right perspective on the situation of shidduchim today. I am merely observing the differences in perspective on whether or not the situation should or could be called a crisis. And the crux of the matter seems to be whether or not you are concerned with the female end of things. Last Shabbos some women were discussing this. Only one of them had a daughter of marriageable age. Her view was that there are more "top girls" than "top boys." Of course the definition of "top" here is very much tied to where one sees oneself on the spectrum. Another woman is already worrying about this situation, though her oldest daughter is not yet 12. She has sons who are older than that but is not at all concerned about how they will fare in shidduchim. A third woman has only sons, and her eldest is approaching shidduch age. She has no worries about a crisis situation. Yet another woman who has a whole string of boys and whose daughter is only 2 is already sympathizing with the plight of the nubile female, asserting that only the most beautiful girls get matched up, and that looks trump even money. As I am not anticipating marrying off my children for quite a number of years yet, I see no point in worrying about it now, though my husband and I joke that we will offer our son in trade for matches for out daughters. Yet I don't know if one can uphold such a contract if my son is to marry years before his youngest sister.

Comments

SephardiLady said…
We have a long time before we have to start worry, but personally I just don't see myself getting all worked up. Somehow I managed to get married. I figure that will be the case with my kids too.

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