Guest post on gifts

"Jed" asked me to post the following:"">Being aware that many choshuv rabbonim have established guidelines for keeping down wedding costs, I was slightly disturbed to come across this article detailing which gifts "must" be given between the chosson and kallah (or their families). What are the common traditions, and what is just "minhag hallmark" as far as gifts between the couple prior to the wedding? See


Anonymous said…
I just wanted to point out that i do say in my post i have used poetic license, and that my husband and I did not follow any list, and are BH blissfully happy.

the size of the diamond has nothing to do with the quality of your marriage.

take it from someone who has been divorced. more important things to focus on when getting married. instead of the wedding, think about the MARRIAGE!!
Ariella's blog said…
Thanks for clarifying, Hadassah. I saw that you said in the comment section that the post was not meant as a literal directive.
Anonymous said…
(OP) When i first saw your article, i think i missed that line, im sorry. But yet there are those who do take such ideas seriously, to the great detriment of their wallets and sometimes their happiness. The idea of a few somewhat expensive gifts as a vehicle to show affection for each other is important. But there is no reason to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on gifts "because" its a status thing.

I would suggest that the following ARE important:
1. The engagement ring. Does not need to cost zillions of dollars, buy within your budget.
2. The "watch". Generally, the guy pays for most of the dates. The watch is a nice way to reciprocate, but again, buy within your budget.
3. The tallis has traditionally been given by the kallah's family, if not from herself personally.

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