Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Joy Alert!

If being forewarned is being forearmed, I recommend you read the “Fooled by a Feeling” chapter of Jonah Lehrer’s book How We Decide (New York: 2009), especially part 3.

Continue reading on Examiner.com Joy alert: ‘tis the season for self control - New York Jewish Bridal | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/jewish-bridal-in-new-york/joy-alert-tis-the-season-for-self-control#ixzz1fENsmTJC

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Divrei Chaim: ain m'arvin simcha b'simcha and sheva brachos

Divrei Chaim: ain m'arvin simcha b'simcha and sheva brachos: The Yerushalmi derives from Lavan's instruction to Ya'akov Avinu, " Malei shavua zos ," to wait until sheva brachos with Leah are over befor...

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The letter and spirit of the law for consumer protection

In my latest post up at http://ht.ly/1fUEYZ

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Sunday, November 27, 2011

Ever notice that there are no women on Hatazalah?

Quotes from  http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/NYC-Jewish-Women-Want-to-Join-All-Male-EMT-Hatzolah-134563453.html :
Now a group of women in one of the country's largest Orthodox Jewish communities is proposing to join up with Hatzolah as emergency medical technicians to respond in cases of labor or gynecological emergencies.
The proposal for a women's division has stirred up criticism within Orthodox Jewish circles, with one well-known blog editorializing that it amounts to a "new radical feminist agenda." And when a prominent elected local official, Assemblyman Dov Hikind, spoke about it on his weekly radio show, he was criticized for even bringing the subject up.Rachel Freier, a Hasidic attorney who is representing the women in the Borough Park neighborhood of Brooklyn, said there is a need for emergency services that adhere to the community's customs of modesty, calling for the sexes to avoid physical contact unless they are related."It has nothing to do with feminism," Freier said. "It has to do with the dignity of women and their modesty."She is careful to avoid framing the proposal as a critique of Hatzolah, whose work she says they respect. Instead, she says it is a matter of reclaiming a "job that has been the role of women for thousands of years" — that of midwife. "We are so proud of Hatzolah," she said. But, she added, "they can't understand what a woman feels like when she is in labor."

Interesting argument. But the fact is that many ob-gyns are men. And if you are rushing to a hospital in an emergency situation, you usually cannot specify your preferred gender for care. Also I can tell you based on my experience of having a baby at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital that there are women doctors and nurses who show no greater empathy to women in labor than men do. 
Nevertheless, I think that women who wish to offer their serve others using their expertise in this way should not be banned from doing chesed. It is possible to work it out. I don't buy the argument made by Heshy Jacobs, a member of Chevra Hatzalah's executive board that ""There are many things at which women are superior, but when it comes to speed and physical strength, which are both of the essence in a medical emergency, it is a proven fact that men have an advantage."


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Thursday, November 24, 2011

You don't marry a shidduch resume

 The study is more concerned with online dating, but really that model is largely responsible for the shidduch resume expectation in the frum community. According to new research of psychologists Paul W. Eastwick, Eli J. Finkel and Alice H. Eagly, there is a disconnect between what people say they like on paper and what they go for in real life.  I could have told them this.
People have ideas about the abstract qualities they're looking for in a romantic partner," said Eastwick, assistant professor of psychology at Texas A&M University and lead author of the study. "But once you actually meet somebody face to face, those ideal preferences for traits tend to be quite flexible."


Finkel, associate professor of psychology at Northwestern University and co-author of the study explains:
"People are not simply the average of their traits."  Consequently, the checklist approach of desirable traits " doesn't make sense" in the "search for partners."
As Eagly says, you cannot isolate particular parts: "Thinking about this or that feature of a person apart from taking the whole person into account doesn't predict actual attraction." 
Indeed, a person cannot be reduced to a resume. And those who use them primarily as screening devices should remember this observation from Eastwick:
It has happened more than once that people have said, 'If you had tried to set me up with this guy, I would never have gone out with him, but I'm so glad I did!'"


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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Blogger influence

Are you aware of being influenced by blogs? Do you seek to influence others through your blog? Are you product recommendations based on what you really like or the sway of those who seek to market their products through bloggers?

"Bloggers are increasing in their influence over readers and other bloggers. Last year’s Technorati “State of the Blogosphere” reported that 29% of bloggers are influenced by other blogs they read. This year, that number jumped to 68%." Read more at http://www.emarketer.com/Article.aspx?R=1008705&ecid=a6506033675d47f881651943c21c5ed4



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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Stock up on cranberries now

when the stores have them on sale. Here's why: http://www.examiner.com/jewish-bridal-in-new-york/cranberries-are-not-just-for-thanksgiving

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Saturday, November 19, 2011

On marketing, social media, and innovation

Here are three links. One is: Separate Social Media From Marketing - Anthony J. Bradley and Mark P. McDonald - Harvard Business Review
The next two are blogs I wrote from two different sites in the past couple of weeks:


On the importance of names in branding with Ovestock's retreat from the O.co domain:
  Short Isn't Always Sweet


On Samsung's introduction of a solar powered internet and computer equipped mobile classroom:

Mobile School Brings Internet Education to Remote Africans


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Sunday, November 13, 2011

The #1 quality sought in a relationship is ...

trust.

from http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/john_gottman_on_trust_and_betrayal/
On PsychInfo, the database that psychologists use to do a literature review, there were 96,000 references to “trust.” And it turns out that when social psychologists ask people in relationships, “What is the most desirable quality you’re looking for in a partner when you’re dating?”, trustworthiness is number one. It’s not being sexy or attractive. It’s really being able to trust somebody. 



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Divrei Chaim: the kos shel bracha sent to Sarah

Divrei Chaim: the kos shel bracha sent to Sarah: Why did the malachim sent to rescue Lot and destroy Sdom stop off at Avraham's home first? The malach sent to destroy Sedom played no role ...

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Saturday, November 12, 2011

Background check for a shidduch

We see background -- in terms of family -- did count for the shidduch Avraham sought for his son. He looked within his own extended family. However, he also did not count family flaws against the girls as we can learn from the account of Rivka's birth at the end of Parashas Vaerah: http://www.examiner.com/jewish-bridal-in-new-york/when-family-counts-and-when-it-doesn-t-for-a-match

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Friday, November 11, 2011

What's Old is New in New York

Torah Scrolls from oldest shul in North America on display at the New York Historical Society. Find out more at  http://www.examiner.com/jewish-bridal-in-new-york/a-bit-of-jewish-new-york-history


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Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Historic and operational: the grist mill at Stony Brook

http://www.examiner.com/jewish-bridal-in-new-york/end-of-the-season-for-the-mill-review
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Staying married with children

The problem and solution clarified in http://www.daytondailynews.com/lifestyle/kids-biggest-threat-to-your-marriage-1280128.html

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Sunday, November 06, 2011

A review of the Long Island Museum

The picture above is one of the ones in the slideshow you can see and read about in http://www.examiner.com/jewish-bridal-in-new-york/transported-to-another-time-the-long-island-museum-review

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Saturday, November 05, 2011

Divrei Chaim: flesh and soul

Divrei Chaim: flesh and soul: 1. Rav Amiel has an interesting insight in his Higyonot El Ami. Pre-Parshas Lech Lecha, human beings were called " basar ," flesh, as in " ...

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More on the flawed plan

Following the posts linked to in http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2011/11/new-nasi-shidduch-plan-throw-money-at.htmlm Orthnonomics added some updates at
http://orthonomics.blogspot.com/2011/11/nasi-he-was-not-asked.html
 http://orthonomics.blogspot.com/2011/11/nasi-it-just-gets-worse.htmlhttp://orthonomics.blogspot.com/2011/11/nasi-5tjt-publishes-response-20-girls.html


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Thursday, November 03, 2011

The New NASI Shidduch Plan: Throw Money At It

I remember seeing the ad for this "solution" to the shidduch crisis. I was struck by the various ways it was wrong, but  I'm glad I didn't bother to write my own blog about it  because Orthonomics covered it very thoroughly in a number of posts: Orthonomics: The New NASI Shidduch Plan: Throw Money At Ithttp://orthonomics.blogspot.com/2011/10/nasi-ad-game-changing-shidduch-program.htmlhttp://orthonomics.blogspot.com/2011/11/nasi-response-to-those-who-question-beg.html

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