Wednesday, March 30, 2011

New York income tax - New York Jewish Bridal | Examiner.com

Some points about New York's metropolitan commuter transportation mobility tax  and a reminder to get your taxes and IRA contributions in by April 18th.
New York income tax - New York Jewish Bridal | Examiner.com

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Divrei Chaim: unintended consequences

Divrei Chaim: unintended consequences: "The Yalkut (524 towards the end) quotes a view that Nadav and Avihu were punished because they did not marry. Rav Levi said: Many girls re..."

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Divrei Chaim: did we need to leave Egypt just to be told not to ...

Divrei Chaim: did we need to leave Egypt just to be told not to ...: "Time to start thinking about Pesach, and what better place to start than Parshas Shmini. At the very end of the parsha the Torah juxtaposes..."

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Monday, March 21, 2011

Mommy bloggers

I am a mommy and a blogger, but I never branded myself as a mommy blogger.  Some have done so with great success as many marketers attempt to jump on the mommy blogger bandwagon in pitching their products.  Here's an interesting post on the subject that calls for more attention to differences among the many bloggers all classed under the name of "mommy"

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Some thoughts on mishloach manos

I've written about the mitzvah of  mishloach manos before and I would echo the sentiment Sephardi Lady expressed here. I'm the last one to say that one has to spend a fortune to come up with something really impressive looking or with some type of dish or container that the recipient would keep. But that doesn't mean that people should just randomly throw some candies or other stuff they have in the house together.

Ideally, the food given should enhance the Purim seudah in some way.  Certainly, if I know something about the recipient's taste, I try to use that in planning the mishloach manos. So the neighbor who favors peach sparkling grape juice gets a bottle of that along with some food.  And the child who has diabetes get a snack that is not based on sugar in her package.  Certainly, I would never throw dairy non-cholov Yisrael snacks in to someone I know or even suspect keeps cholov Yisrael.  It seems obvious to me because the point is to give the person something s/he will enjoy eating. Just like you wouldn't give a nut-based food to someone you know has allergies or something made of meat to someone who eats on vegetarian, it is equally inappropriate to give something that you know the person won't eat because of the kashruth standards. Seems obvious to me, but someone did just that -- presented my son with a mishloach manos with Kudo bars making up the food.  He said he knows that he keeps cholov Yisrael, but maybe he could pass it on to someone who doesn't.


Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Kallah Magazine blog for intelligent readers: Poetic justice as a sign of Divine intervention

Kallah Magazine blog for intelligent readers: Poetic justice as a sign of Divine intervention: "On Purim, we celebrate a miracle that involved no splitting of the sea or oil burning far longer than it would naturally do. It seems ..."

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Divrei Chaim: the nes of Purim

Divrei Chaim: the nes of Purim: "I really don’t think the biggest miracle of Purim was being saved from Haman. I think the biggest miracle came before that. Imagine if we..."

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

On target marketing, the store and more

You can see the my blog on marketing at http://www.thecmosite.com
The latest is on Tarrget, which is also mentioned in  Store Brands Go Upscale.



Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

The fast before the feast

I wrote about this on another Purim. This year the fast is shorter because Purim only begins after Shabbos. So like Yerushalmis get to do every year, we can break fast without waiting for Megillah reading.
See http://www.examiner.com/jewish-bridal-in-new-york/the-fast-before-the-feast

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Surprising statistics

According to Blogger stats I have quite a few more visitors from Germany than from the US.  Ah, they must have figured out my Yekke origins, which takes a great deal of insider knowledge because the last name that would indicate that is not the one I currently use.  But really, it's strange.  I didn't think there are even too many Jews left there. I had a handful of relatives living there until a bit under 20 years ago. My uncle and his wife opted to move to the US because he found things getting increasingly uncomfortable for them there. The other surprise is that I have 4 in the United Arab Emirates. That is a mere 32 fewer than are shown for Israel.   And the third surprise is that I get more people from Brazil than from the UK without knowing any of the languages they might speak there. In the interest of full disclosure, though, I have to admit that I do have cousins in Brazil, but I didn't think they would be reading my blog. Come to think of it, I also have cousins in the UK, so it still doesn't make sense.

Here's the explanation: those stats are for this week.  For some reason, more people in Germany gravitated over to my blog this week than usual.  I think I know why. It's not due to my Yekke origins. It's due to the post on the Purim custom of dressing up, which is said to have very old sources cited among German Jewry.  So Germans doing a search on German customs may have somehow zeroed in on that.  Longer term stats reveal the US to be the leader by far, followed by Israel, with Germany third and surprisingly close to Israel in numbers.  That is followed by Canada (lots of relatives there), then  Netherlands (where relatives lived long ago) and then the UK.  After that come some Eastern European countries  and South Korea where I don't think I have any relatives currently.

Notice: I don't discriminate.  One does not have to be a US citizen to qualify for the crown as per http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2011/03/want-crown.html

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Want a crown?

Content may be king, but it is willing to share its crown with you
The Purim story relates a contest to select the woman who would be crowned queen of the empire.  The modern version of this is FourSquare that runs a contest of sorts by awarding mayor status to the person with the most check ins. Let's try that here.  You can check in by writing comments.  The one with the most comments by the end of the month can be crowned mayor.  There are no perks to being mayor other than bragging rights.  Hey, that's enough to get people to check in at many places in New York. That is not to say that no one checks in here. I know people do based on my Blogger stats.  So drop in and say something -- not just hello, mind you, but something.  And we'll see who will be crowned.

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A Freudian slip?

I'm sure I've posted these before -- the ads from dating consultants. As for the title of this, pay close attention to the closing:


Dating can be tough for anyone no matter where they are in life. How about some
help from a Dating Consultant who has been through it all and came out on top!!!
My service provides:
* The DO’S and DON’TS of dating. * Step by step advice on basic and detailed dating protocols. * Just went on a first date, what do I do next? * How to communicate effectively. * Relationship skills. * What to wear and when. I focus on the small details of dating which may not seem like a big deal, but
will make all the difference on how your date goes. I evolved from past dating
experiences over the years and want to help others avoid mistakes I made.

Membership cost is $60 for 5 phone consolations. If you sign up by March 21st,  the cost will be $50!!!

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Divrei Chaim: amazing chiddush of R' Yosef Engel regarding matan...

Divrei Chaim: amazing chiddush of R' Yosef Engel regarding matan...: "The gemara (Shabbos 10b) quotes Rav as teaching that if you give a gift to a friend, you have to tell him about it -- don't just leave an ..."

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Gottfried got fired

I don't usually talk about celebrities.  I don't really follow what they do. But this morning I felt compelled to do a post on Gilbert Gottfried.  I'm not breaking the news that he was fired from his job as the voice of a duck by Aflack because of jokes he cracked about Japan that could be considered insensitive at best and offensive at worst.. I'm sure you all know that already.  What struck me about the news report I heard was the the company says it had a right to fire him because his contract contains a "morals clause," and such jokes violate that.   Now that's something to think about. I don't mean that every job needs to add on a morals clause for people who represent the company in a public way.  I mean that people should consider what a morals clause means before they act or speak or tweet.  We all should have our own morals clause and live up to it even without a threat of losing our jobs. In other words, even if your job is not with a company that does business in Japan, it is wrong to dismiss the pain and loss of people. It is also wrong to just dismiss the feelings of others with "they shouldn't take offense."  Ironically, some of those who make that claim take offense pretty quickly when the shoe is on the other foot.  That's why the essence of Torah beliefs, according to Hillel, is not to do anything that hateful to you to another.  
 


Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Monday, March 14, 2011

Divrei Chaim: haman min haTorah

Divrei Chaim: haman min haTorah: "Haman min haTorah minayin? Chazal point to the pasuk in Parshas Braishis, 'Ha’min ha’eitz … achalta?” What does G-d's question to Adam a..."

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Neat Negotiations

The Odd Couple featured 2 men who shared a New York City apartment.  Conflict, inevitably, arose between the one who was ultra-neat and one who was an utter slob.  Many married couples find themselves in a similar situation.  It can be further complicated by the fact that one who is neat in one area may be completely sloppy in another because mess does not register on his/her mind in particular contexts.  Here are two examples that could well come from a husband and wife married to each other: 


Part 1: Problems
Part 2: Answer
Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

One week until Purim - New York Jewish Bridal | Examiner.com

One week until Purim - New York Jewish Bridal | Examiner.com

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Purim customs are Jewish customs

The internet allows anyone to post his/her opinion.  And you can think whatever you want.  But if you are going to declare something as halacha, you better be prepared with real authorities as backup.  I hold that truth to be axiomatic -- that halacha is what it is,  regardless of whether or not it conforms to your idiosyncratic perspective.  What prompted this is reading post from people who declare that those who celebrate Purim with masks and costume are emulating the akum who dons masks for Carnival, a Catholic holiday with pagan origins. So klal Yisrael is maligned in a broad brush stroke for violating halacha based on a theory that ignores the halachic discussions of dressing up on Purim.

Instead of looking at the sources, the people who advance this fallacious position rely on the  post hoc ergo propter  logical fallacy. As Easter is always tied to Pesach in the calendar, the day before Ash Wednesday always come out a week or two before Purim. Ah, if it follows, we, too must be following. The Jews of Italy saw the nonJews having a rollicking good time before the sober time of Lent and decided that they, too, would like to party with a masquerade. And they tacked that on to the holiday of Purim.  So that theory goes. It simply ignores two points -- halacha and history.

In http://www.vosizneias.com/50116/2010/02/25/new-york-purim-costumes-%E2%80%93-a-history-%E2%80%93-reasons-and-origins Rabbi Yair Hoffman explains that this theory of the origins of costumes on Purim was advanced by Moritz Steinschneider (1816-1907) who erred in tracing its roots to Italy when it is documented even earlier in Germany and France, the bastions of Ashkenazic Jewry. As Rabbi Hoffman says, "The origin is a kasher minhag b’Yisroel from German-Jewry."  Those who deride the custom as a copy of a nonJewish festival are simply wrong, as well as ignorant.  

In http://www.yeshiva.org.il/ask/eng/default.aspx?cat=15&page=2&rc=328, Rabb Moshe Leib Halberstadt cites various  references to the custom in halachic contexts:
The earliest sources I found to the costumes custom in various events is from the era of the Rishonim in the 12th century. In Sefer Yereim of Rabbi Eliezer of Mitz, one of the Baalei Hatosfot and the disciple of Rabbeinu Tam. Also in a responsa of the Rambam quoted in Sefer Maaseh Rokech of Rabbi Masud Chai Rokeach.
The earliest source I found that refers explicitly to Purim costumes is from the end of the era of the Rishonim, in the Musar Sefer Even Bochen of Rabbi Klonimus B"r Klonimus of the 13th century.  
Of course, license to dress up is not license for kalus rosh.  As Rabbi Halberstadt  concludes: "you cannot disapprove of such an ancient Jewish custom. Yet it is very important not to cross the fine line of good taste." 



Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Divrei Chaim: simchas Purim vs. simchas Yom Tov (II)

Divrei Chaim: simchas Purim vs. simchas Yom Tov (II): "Last week (link) we explained that there is no din of ain m’arvin simcha b’simcha when it comes to getting married on Purim because simcha..."

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Friday, March 04, 2011

Anticipating Adar II

Tomorrow is Shabbos Mevorchim. We bless the new month of Adar II, in which we celebrate Purim.  (Yes, it's getting close, and stores throughout New York are already displaying Purim baskets and hamentashen in antipation of the holiday.

Continue reading on Examiner.com: Anticipating Adar II - New York Jewish Bridal | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/jewish-bridal-in-new-york/anticipating-adar-ii#ixzz1Fe9N6t1J

also see http://kallahmagazine.blogspot.com/2010/02/poetic-justice-as-sign-of-divine.html

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Thursday, March 03, 2011

on the pitfalls of speed dating

Choice is usually considered a good thing, but too much of a good thing ... see http://www.examiner.com/jewish-bridal-in-new-york/one-date-at-a-time
Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

I am going to have to put up some more posts on dating

Topics to consider: speed dating
Instant connections and gradual ones

For now, I will briefly address the misunderstanding the concept of bashert.  Some declare that doesn't exist. But as I B"Y accepted the oral tradition alone with the written Torah (something we ratified on Purim -kiyemu vekiblu) we have to say that if Chazal say it exists, then it does. Instead of questioning the veracity of Chazal, people should question their own misinterpretations. It is the conflation of the idea of Bashert with the secular notion of "The One" that is immediately recognizable.  See the first piece at http://kallahmagazine.com/DivreiTorah1.htm for an explanation of Bashert in Torah, which is very distinct from the starry-eyed view of modern day romance.
The Maharal has an interesting take on the difference between the 40 days kodem yetziras havlad and the notion that zivugim are harder than kriyas yam suf.  Why invoke an image of separation for a shidduch?  That is because that refers tot he zivug sheini.  As there is a concept of zivug rishon and zivug sheini, one is not guaranteed to marry and stay married to one's bashert.

I also have to stop reading blogs in which singles offer their wisdom on life.  It is too depressing to contemplate what the world has come to when people understand so little.  Is this due to a failure of the Jewish educational system? Or should it blamed on too much immersion in a culture with values that are diametrically opposed to Torah?  I don't know, but it is scary, especially because I have children.

Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner

Why you may not want to do dinner on the first date


And tips on what to do when you do set up a dinner date.
See http://www.examiner.com/jewish-bridal-in-new-york/the-danger-of-a-dinner-date


Visit my site www.kallahmagazine.com -- not just for kallahs. You can also see posts at http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner